As you notice in my previous articles I have mentioned already several times the term “Spiritual Awakening or Awakening”. But I never explain clearly or give further details about it. Maybe now is the right time. I remember trying to explain it to a friend but can’t truly grasp the right words to say. There is just too much going on that I don’t know how to described it. Hopefully through writing I can best explain how it happened to me. Please take note that each individual has a unique experience in having their own spiritual awakening.

Back then when I was still a child I am always amazed at the beauty of the moon and the stars above. The vastness of the sky makes me feel so small in size and I know that there is something more to explore in life. That what I am seeing is just a fraction of reality. I was also a sensitive child and sometimes would cry for no reason at all, I just want to release something but I don’t know what is that something. I also think that although physically I was born from my mother’s womb, there is part of me that neither born nor die and it already existed so many lifetimes before. The imminent presence of my deceased father at times when our family needed protection and his manifestations in our dreams, reinforces my belief that there is really life after death.

As an adult, I was consumed by the things that the society told me I should have and to be that someone that I should be. But even a seemingly good relationship or career does not satisfy that void or emptiness I felt inside my being. I yearn for freedom, a desire to explore the unknown. I want to know how the vastness of the universe above are connected with the journey of my soul. This time my interest for spiritual and paranormal topics increases and the term “Old Soul” just resonated with me. When I say “Spiritual” it’s not something about religion but rather more about the Universe that I found divine or sacred. There is also this deep knowing that I am here for a reason. My dreams are becoming more vivid, sometimes I can see in my dreams some people before I even meet them or an event before it happens. My intuition also became apparent, it seldom goes wrong but many times I have the tendency to set it aside. My sensitivity also grows stronger, oftentimes I absorb the emotions of those people who are close to me and know exactly what they are thinking or going through. I am also an introvert and notice that there are certain people or places that possesses an energy that overwhelms me. At that time I don’t have any idea what is going on with me and find it difficult to share with other people, I would rather keep it to myself.

When a job opportunity abroad knocks at my door, I eagerly welcomed it and had this feeling that this is the start of something. But it was not what I expected. It was a test of fire, I almost thought I was in hell. (I’ve written about it in my article Palau: A Detour). All my beliefs and idea of who I should be fell to pieces. I felt so lost, confused, raw and vulnerable. My ego cannot stand it, I fought and refuse to accept everything that had happened to me. I was having the “dark night of my soul”. And the more I resist, the more I suffered. I went home three months before my one year contract ends.

Back home, I started to think things over and realized that there is nothing I can do but to acknowledge what had happened and surrender to it. It made things easier and I believed there is a reason for all of these. I felt peace and the term “Awakening” keeps coming to mind but I really didn’t pay much attention to it. This time I decided I still needed to explore more about life and once again I found myself working in another country. (I shared my experience about this in my article China, Why not?)

To be continued in my next article Spiritual Awakening (Part II)..