I stop going to church.

For others reading this, it may seem not a big deal for them. But as a Catholic who always goes to church every Sunday, it’s something unusual and I can’t even blame my mother being upset about it. Before I thought religion is a significant part of every person’s life. Without it, life is of no value. In the small town where I grew up with especially, almost everyone meet at church every Sunday and it’s impossible for someone not to have a religion.

I was then following dogmas, traditions and practices without knowing the reason behind. I don’t question them because those have been passed down from generations to generations. But deep down in me, I am always bothered by the thought of God who at some point claims to loves me then one moment will cast judgment on me. It made me see myself more unworthy because of the sins I continuously commit. Not to mention being surrounded by individuals whom they think they have the right to judge me also.

When I went abroad, I was surprised to found out that most of the people I meet or have known doesn’t have a religion but they are practicing kindness and aware of this Universal love that bounds people regardless of their race and religion. It made me question my beliefs. If the bible or any sacred text for that matter teaches tolerance, loving and forgiving your enemy, why does religion causes discrimation and separation from people, or sometimes even war?

It was said that Jesus or Buddha doesn’t have a religion; they walk in this planet shining their light to everyone around them. Teaching about love and forgiveness but they never impose and condemn people.

My quest for God leads me to discover that spark of Divinity that was within me all along. I was a piece of God; I was never separated from Him. I can feel His presence every time I was sitting at the park surrounded by a wonderful scenery, or whenever I saw a smile from a child’s face or even from the presence of someone who have hurt me. God is everywhere and I can reach out to Him anytime. I don’t need to surrender my Power to a certain institution. I am free, and I can use my power to change the world in my own little way without being a slave to the matrix that was trying to control and suppress humanity for a very long time.