Choosing Change

You know how it felt when you were having an emotional turmoil. Food is something that came in handy. For almost one week straight, I’ve eaten a lot of sweets and junk foods. I stop going for my afternoon jog. My body became lethargic and it’s almost screaming at me to stop harming it further. But I don’t listen because I want to cover up the pain and I’m in denial. Then suddenly you face the mirror and this is what you see:

 

Bloated stomach.

Then it hit me. This has to end, I can’t continue being in denial anymore. I have to change!

I decided to fast for five days consuming raw foods and green juice only. I didn’t jog but I spent time at the park, soaking with the energy of nature, grounding and meditating. I also limit my time checking the social media and focus on writing my articles instead.

At the second day I couldn’t resist the temptation when I pass by my favorite bakeshop. I bought cookies. And on the fifth day, I was eager to celebrate it with a bag of chips and an ice cream. Okay so I failed for two days only. But emotionally I struggled for five days. Just the thought of my favorite blueberry cheese cake makes me satiate, go for it and stop fasting. In the same way that you want to continue entertaining that negative thoughts in your mind or do that destructive habit, procrastinate or reach out for that person but you know it’s best not to. Why I’m even making myself suffer by denying these things when it’s just easier to be complacent and stay comfortable?

Because I acknowledge the bullshit that I am into at that moment. And I have the choice either to stay stuck or change and move forward. And I choose the later. I want it so badly, no matter how hard the climb is. And even if I fall, I’ll go through it over and over again, if it’s the only way to change and grow.

And here is my picture after my five day fast.

Right now I still eat sweets occasionally and in moderation and had my green juice every morning. I’m being more aware of my food intake especially when I’m stressed emotionally. I still run and also tried different kinds of work out. And will definitely continue to choose change in every given opportunity in all aspect of my life. I will be posting more of that in the future. Because there are still lots of things I need to change and improve in myself.

Cheers to a better YOU!