What I learned from 3 days fasting

I am writing this right after consuming a box of chocolate in one sitting for almost 10 minutes maybe. Two days has pass since I’ve fasted and now I find myself indulging in sweets again and I feel I had failed once again.

You see I am an emotional eater, being an Empath and feeling things deeply doesn’t help either. I always had this complicated relationship with food. I don’t only see it as a means to nourish my body but it is also my source of comfort every time I feel any unwanted emotion. Bored about my work, let me have this bag of chips. Feeling hurt, chocolates will certainly do the trick. Bombarded by the energy of people around me and can’t bear them all, this cookie, cake, pizza or ice cream will certainly help, etc, etc. Or in other case also if I am surrounded by my family and friends enjoying our time together and having good food, I was then eating unconsciously.

I believed its okay to consume everything in moderation. The problem with me is that once I started eating, I can’t stop anymore until I am totally full and realized I have consumed more than what my body needed. It is almost an everyday struggle especially with sweets and junk foods. Although it doesn’t affect my weight, but it certainly did affect my skin especially my face. Also I can sense something is going wrong with my digestive system. Not to mention the emotional highs and lows I experience after I indulged with these kinds of food.  I am aware how our food intake affects our physical, mental and spiritual being but most of the time I have the tendency to put it aside. I want to improve my awareness with how I consume my food and at the same time detoxify my mind and body. I also want to include it in my reflections this year and to help me set my goals for next year.

I came across this article in the internet explaining the benefits of water fasting and decided to give it a try. I already tried green juice fasting before and consumed raw foods along side with it but this time I opted on taking only water. My original plan was for 5 days but I only make it to three days. Below describes my experience.

 

DAY 1

I don’t mind having an empty stomach in the morning since I am used to having green juice or some fruits only for breakfast. And during our lunch break, I just sleep so I don’t have much time to think about food. But later in the afternoon, I keep asking myself if I really need to do this, I still have time to call it off and have dinner. And speaking of dinner I imagined grilled fish for main dish and cheesecake for dessert. Yum!

Okay forget about dinner, I decided to go on fasting. I feel a little bit light headed but in general my body is fine. I extended some hours in the office; it helps distract my mind from thinking about food. Later in the evening, I drink a cup of warm water with lemon, ginger and turmeric and had stomachache after. I think I should only drink pure water.

DAY 2

I don’t have the energy to get up in bed this morning my body felt shaky and have headache. I cannot focus during my meditation and also at work. Yesterday I didn’t drink a lot of water so today I will make sure I had enough of it. At lunch time, I’m almost tempted to take a bite of an apple. This afternoon, I can’t stop thinking about the delicious food I’ve tasted all my life and I was salivating.

Then on the evening, I made a call with my mother and she told me about the food they prepared earlier this day for my sister’s birthday. Haha nice timing, my brain is screaming for food now! I still had headache and I went to bed at 8pm, it’s so early and I wish to have a taste of food in my dream tonight at least.

DAY 3

I have more energy now when I wake up, maybe because of my dream last night, haha. I dreamed that I was eating spaghetti prepared by my mother which is one of my favorite. I don’t have headache anymore but my stomach hurts a little bit but it was gone when I started drinking water this morning. I notice I become more productive today, as I don’t have to spend time thinking what food to eat next. I’m more focus in the present moment and not trying to count the days when my fasting will end.

Later in the afternoon I had palpitations and I was gasping for how many minutes but I was fine after. I’m already thinking of ending my fast tomorrow, I’ll see how it goes.

 

The next day, I wake up at 4 am not feeling well. I prepare a soup and felt good after eating them. I was consuming it little by little in the entire morning since my body is still adjusting in digesting solid food again. Then at lunch I had light meal and in the evening I eat normally again. And the food taste so good I had so much appetite and I started eating sweets again.  But I had more awareness now, once I feel I already had enough I stop eating anymore. Also I can easily notice which food makes my body feel something is off. It’s a sign for me not eat them again. But I must admit this is not an easy thing to do especially if I’m used to eating them. It’s always a struggle and I still had a long way to go. I also notice my facial skin becomes a little bit clearer and emotionally I felt lighter and more in tune with the flow. I may say something has shifted.

But not until last night when I was releasing a certain emotion and today I turn again to binge eating a box of chocolate. I really didn’t feel good after, and I was feeling so guilty but I realized it won’t help if I continue beating myself up. I need to be more patient with myself; if I truly want to change it won’t happen instantly. It’s a matter of falling in between and standing up once again. It’s having strength to keep moving forward amidst all struggles because you have faith that you will have what you wanted at the end.  It’s also a process of trial and error, understanding which work and which doesn’t. And this applies to every goal and dream I have in my life. Now that was one of my reflections for this year and my goal next year? Since my previous fasting coincides with the winter solstice, I will continue to do this in every change of the season meaning four times a year during spring & autumn equinoxes and summer & winter solstices. And of course I will continue to be more mindful with the way I eat and be more aware how my body feels after.

For those of you who want to try the same it is best to consult first with your doctor especially if you already have a pre-existing medical condition. As for me I followed my gut feeling, our body knows what is best for us. So have your own discernment.

Happy Holidays my friends! Cheers to a mindful eating!

Choosing Change

You know how it felt when you were having an emotional turmoil. Food is something that came in handy. For almost one week straight, I’ve eaten a lot of sweets and junk foods. I stop going for my afternoon jog. My body became lethargic and it’s almost screaming at me to stop harming it further. But I don’t listen because I want to cover up the pain and I’m in denial. Then suddenly you face the mirror and this is what you see:

 

Bloated stomach.

Then it hit me. This has to end, I can’t continue being in denial anymore. I have to change!

I decided to fast for five days consuming raw foods and green juice only. I didn’t jog but I spent time at the park, soaking with the energy of nature, grounding and meditating. I also limit my time checking the social media and focus on writing my articles instead.

At the second day I couldn’t resist the temptation when I pass by my favorite bakeshop. I bought cookies. And on the fifth day, I was eager to celebrate it with a bag of chips and an ice cream. Okay so I failed for two days only. But emotionally I struggled for five days. Just the thought of my favorite blueberry cheese cake makes me satiate, go for it and stop fasting. In the same way that you want to continue entertaining that negative thoughts in your mind or do that destructive habit, procrastinate or reach out for that person but you know it’s best not to. Why I’m even making myself suffer by denying these things when it’s just easier to be complacent and stay comfortable?

Because I acknowledge the bullshit that I am into at that moment. And I have the choice either to stay stuck or change and move forward. And I choose the later. I want it so badly, no matter how hard the climb is. And even if I fall, I’ll go through it over and over again, if it’s the only way to change and grow.

And here is my picture after my five day fast.

Right now I still eat sweets occasionally and in moderation and had my green juice every morning. I’m being more aware of my food intake especially when I’m stressed emotionally. I still run and also tried different kinds of work out. And will definitely continue to choose change in every given opportunity in all aspect of my life. I will be posting more of that in the future. Because there are still lots of things I need to change and improve in myself.

Cheers to a better YOU!